A Best Man's Guide to Toasting: Tips on How to Not Burn Your Toast.
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After all the bad dates and late-night parties, your best friend is finally getting married. And he’s asked you to offer a toast at the reception. Speechless? Relax. You CAN deliver a toast-with-the-most - all it takes is a little preparation. The following step-by-step guide is designed to help you along the process.
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Think with your heart as well as your head.
If you’ve been chosen as the best man, you obviously have a close connection to the groom. There’s history between the two of you (some of which should remain confidential!) Sit down and make a list. Consider the following points:
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What are his best qualities?
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What are your favorite memories?
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How did he first describe his future bride to you?
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What makes them a great couple?
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What do you want to say about their future together?
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Do a background check.
Go beyond your own experience. Call his college buddy or ask his mom for funny stories. And don’t forget, the groom is only half the story. It’s important to talk about the bride in your toast as well. What do you know about her? Do some detective work, speaking with her family and friends.
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Know your audience.
You have two audiences. One is the bride and groom. It’s the most memorable day of their lives—don’t say anything that will make them uncomfortable. Your second audience is the assembled relatives and friends. Therefore, consider it a “PG” room. Any story that might embarrass the couple or their family and friends should be edited from your toast and remain on the cutting room floor.
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Get it on paper.
When you actually stand up to speak, it’s best just to have a single card with a few notes jotted down to help you remember key points or direct quotes.
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If you're not a poet, know it.
Don’t aim too high. Your toast should suit your personality. Many wedding toasters aim for lyricism in song or rhyming poetry. That’s a great idea, if it’s you. A direct, from-the-heart talk works just as well. You’re going to devote a lot of time to this speech—make sure the audience knows that you were the one who wrote it.
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Enter laughing, leave 'em crying.
Open on a funny note and end on an emotional one. If you can’t be sentimental at a wedding, where can you? On the other hand, while a couple of well-placed jokes can win the crowd, you're not there to do a stand-up routine.
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Timing counts.
A wedding toast should last three to four minutes. That probably translates to no more than five liberally double-spaced pages. Rehearse your toast with a stopwatch and see how long it takes. If it’s five minutes or under, don’t worry - under the glare of the spotlight, you may speak faster, or you may decide to skip a section. Trust us, company loves brevity.
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