Showers of Happiness: Welcome to the Not-Necessarily-Traditional Bridal Shower.
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The bridal shower, once a symbol of the dowry that a woman brought to her marriage, has traditionally been an all-female afternoon tea or luncheon, designed to help the bride outfit her new home. These days, while female bonding is as important as ever, when it comes to showers, anything goes – from a collective spa day to a his and her barbecue. If you are planning a shower (or someone you know is planning you a shower) read on for helpful information and ideas.
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First the basics:
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Who hosts?
Anyone close to the bride or the couple can host a shower, from old friends and bridesmaids, to the Maid of Honor, a sister, the bride’s mother and mother-in-law – even the best man. A bride may have more than one shower thrown in her honor, often to accommodate friends or relatives in different cities. More than two, however, is probably too many, and those close to the bride should coordinate and join forces.
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When is it held?
Showers should take place a significant amount of time after the engagement parties, but at least two weeks before the wedding. If the bride lives far away, a shower might be planned for when she’s in town for a dress fitting or to get the marriage license, so she won’t have to make an extra trip.
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What’s the general idea?
Showers tend to be informal, whether held at home or in a restaurant, hotel, or other site. They are most often a luncheon, but might be a brunch, barbecue, pool party, or even a co-ed cocktail party. Often they are planned as a surprise.
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What exactly happens at a shower?
In a traditional shower, the host might ask guests to arrive about thirty minutes before the bride is expected, to help set up a display of presents, (perhaps under a shower umbrella symbolizing good luck and shelter). Usually food is served, guests mingle, and then the bride sits down to open her gifts. As she unwraps each gift, someone should write down who gave what (to assist the bride with thank-you notes). Another guest might collect all of the ribbons and make a "rehearsal bouquet" by taping or stapling them to a paper plate, which the bride can then carry during the ceremony rehearsal. The host might also plan several creative party games to break the ice, especially if many of the guests don’t know each other
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Who is invited?
The guest list should include the Maid of Honor and bridesmaids (groomsmen too if it’s a co-ed shower), the mothers and sisters of the bride and groom, and other close relatives and friends who are invited to the wedding. (The only exception to this rule comes in the case of an office shower, when co-workers who are not invited to the wedding may want to chip in for a gift). The host issues invitations most often by mail, at least two weeks before the party.
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Now for the fun:
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Think about the bride or the couple, and what kinds of things they love. Then get creative. Your only limit will be your imagination. Here are five ideas to get you started:
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Say Aaahhh to a Day at the Spa:
Grab your bridal party and take over a local day spa. Many spas cater to this idea, and will help you with the arrangements. Order in a healthy lunch and sip herbal teas while your toes are painted and your muscles massaged. For invitations, print up the details on an aromatherapy candle. Another option is to throw a spa shower at home. Serve plenty of salads and fresh fruit smoothies, and hire a masseuse, manicurist, and reflexologist to service your guests. Spa related gifts include massage oils (to be used on the honeymoon of course!), a fluffy robe, luxurious towels (monogramming is an excellent idea), yoga videos, and a manicure or pedicure set
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A Year’s Worth of Love:
Make sure the couple’s entire year is special by throwing a holiday-themed shower, in which every guest brings a gift specific to a different holiday. You can include mainstream holidays such as Valentine’s Day and Halloween, religious celebrations such as Christmas or Hanukkah, and quirky days, which have particular meaning to the couple, such as Arbor Day if they love gardening. Invitations can be different for each holiday (i.e. heart-shaped for Valentine’s Day) and gift ideas include champagne flutes for New Year’s Eve, handmaid stockings for Christmas, and a Seder plate for Passover. Serve Halloween candy, Easter ham, potato latkes, and shamrock cookies
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The Trip of a Lifetime:
Send postcard-style invitations with the couple’s honeymoon destination. Serve the cuisine of the place they’ll be visiting: Caribbean jerk chicken for a visit to the Islands, chowder and sourdough bread for a trip to San Francisco, or gourmet pizzas for a honeymoon to Italy. Suggest guests bring anything that will help the couple enjoy their honeymoon, such as a travel alarm clock, luggage, a beach blanket or a guidebook.
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Round the Clock:
Always a winner, this popular bridal shower theme assigns every guest a different hour of the day for which to choose a gift. A bathrobe, for example, might be appropriate for 7:00 a.m., while sexy lingerie would be best for a later hour. Invitations can be in the shape of a clock, or can feature a picture of a famous clock, such as Big Ben. An around-the-clock menu could include everything from pancakes and tea sandwiches, to sliced turkey and a "midnight" chocolate cake.
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His and Hers:
Co-ed showers are becoming more popular and for good reason. Not only are they fun for the couple and their close married friends, they are also a great way to introduce single bridesmaids and groomsmen. To ensure a successful co-ed shower, pick a theme that men and women will enjoy equally, such as cocktails or barbeque, and think more in terms of a fun, leisurely party than a traditional shower. You can still have the couple open presents, but you might also want to schedule a game of softball or volleyball if space and weather permits. For an indoor event, do happy hour. Serve wings, mini pizzas and fried mozzerella sticks, alongside interesting wines and beers.
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