Flower Girls and Junior Bridesmaids: This Is No Small Task.
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One of the more sensitive decisions for the future bride and groom is the question of children in the wedding party. Although the duties of the flower girl and junior bridesmaid are simple, these "small packages" may come with some pretty heavy baggage.
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Wedding etiquette dictates that a flower girl should be between the ages of four and eight. A young girl aged 10-13 qualifies as a junior bridesmaid. However, when it comes right down to it, age is only a minor consideration. Before any decisions are made, the engaged couple should discuss the matter with the child’s parents, considering personality, temperament and maturity level. Participation in the wedding party can be a treasured memory for a young girl. But for the bride, groom and parents of the child, this duty requires preparation and patience
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Note to the Bride-to-Be:
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You have dreamed about your wedding since YOU were a flower girl. If you are a perfectionist and agonize over every detail, think carefully before you decide to include children. Remember - kids will be kids. If you can’t handle any surprises, you should think whether you want children as part of your ceremony. This doesn’t mean you don’t like children and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad person. This is your wedding - consider what you really want.
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Flower Girl Duties:
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May be invited to attend the bridal shower
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Attend wedding rehearsal
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Precede the bride down the aisle holding a basket of flowers
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Toss flower petals
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Be available for photographs
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Junior Bridesmaid Duties:
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May be invited to attend the bridal shower
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Attend wedding rehearsal
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Walk with bridesmaids down the aisle
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Be available for photographs
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Grown-up Advice - For the bride-to-be and parents
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Play a part.
Ask the child/pre-teen if she wants to participate in the wedding. If she isn’t interested, don’t force her to take part.
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Practice makes FUN!
Make explaining/practicing into a fun game. If the child is young, you can use dolls or toys to act out the ceremony. There are also children’s books written especially for this occasion.
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Discuss attire.
Discuss wedding day attire with parents. Talk about costs; look through the child’s fancy-dress wardrobe. She may have a dress from a previous wedding or a holiday that would be appropriate.
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Dress small children comfortably.
Itchy material or shoes that are too tight are a recipe for trouble.
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Keep it positive!
Encourage the child as she learns and performs tasks. Make her feel special.
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Seat the parents close to their child during the ceremony.
If she is very young, she may need to be walked down the aisle by a parent or bridesmaid.
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Reality check.
Kids’ unpredictable nature will surely leave you with a surprise or two. If things don’t go as you planned, don’t make your flower girl and/or junior bridesmaid feel like she’s made a mistake. Keep your emotions in check. If you can’t handle this, realize it ahead of time.
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Set up special "alone time".
Your flower girl and/or junior bridesmaid may not be able to attend the bridal shower or rehearsal dinner, and they certainly won’t be attending the bachelorette party. Organize a shopping trip (maybe for wedding attire) for just the two of you or treat her to a special evening out.
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