Wedding Festivities: Official Breakdown of All Wedding Celebrations
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Wedding time means party time. The question is how much time will you have to free up in your schedule? Not sure of what party is for who? Here’s a guide to what to expect and how to make the most of every party experience.
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ENGAGEMENT PARTY
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What It Is:
The engagement party is a kick-off to the festivities surrounding a wedding. It can be a small, casual party or a grand, full-scale affair.
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Who Throws It:
Traditionally, the bride’s parents host the engagement party. However, the groom’s parents can host, or other friends or relatives.
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Who’s Invited:
Anyone who’s invited to the engagement party should be invited to the wedding. The engagement party can be a family-only affair or include the closest of friends and relatives.
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When to Have It:
Engagement parties are typically thrown within three months of the formal engagement.
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Where It’s Hosted:
Engagement parties can be thrown at a variety of places from a person’s home, a night club to a fully catered affair at a banquet hall.
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BRIDAL SHOWER
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What It Is:
The bridal shower is a party celebrating the bride and her upcoming life as a married woman. Friends and relatives take this opportunity to “shower” the bride with advice, stories and gifts.
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Who Throws It:
In years past, the maid of honor traditionally threw the bridal shower. Today, however, anything goes – a close relative or friends can throw this soiree.
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Who’s Invited:
Traditionally, etiquette suggests that guests who are invited to the wedding could be invited to the bridal shower - all done to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. These days, we've lightened up a bit and in some cases such as an office shower, anyone can be invited. Many brides have more than one shower (hosted by different friends and relatives). With the exception of the immediate family and perhaps the maid of honor, make sure multiple invitations aren’t sent to people - one shower per guest should be enough
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When to Have It:
Showers are usually held 6-8 weeks before the wedding day.
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Where It’s Hosted:
A shower can be hosted in someone’s home as a brunch or a luncheon, or can take place in a restaurant.
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AFTERNOON TEA
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What It Is:
Perfect for a bridal shower or bridesmaid get-together, a tea is a fabulous (and often inexpensive) way to celebrate an upcoming wedding day. A tea menu includes dainty sandwiches, fruit preserves, scones, muffins, sweets, cold salads and a variety of teas.
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Who Throws It:
A tea party can be thrown by anyone in the bridal party or the bride’s or bridegroom’s family. Traditionally, the host embraces the “tea” theme by sending invitations on simple cream cards or more decorative invitations with floral borders.
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Who’s Invited:
Depending on the occasion, the guest list can include the maid or matron of honor, bridesmaids, flower girls, and close friends and family. Anyone invited to the tea should be invited to the wedding as well.
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When to Have It:
Teas are held anytime between 2:00pm and 5:00pm. The earlier in the day, the lighter the fare. The later in the day, the heavier the fare.
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Where It’s Hosted:
Of course, you can have a tea at a fancy hotel or quaint inn. However, it’s very easy to throw a tea party in your home. All that’s required are pretty linens, flowers, serving trays and plenty of tea. If you have pretty china, a tea party is the time to bring it out.
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BACHELOR PARTY
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What It Is:
In past years, referred to as a “stag party,” the bachelor party is a celebration of the groom-to-be and his last days as a single man.
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Who Throws It:
Traditionally, the best man throws the bachelor party and arranges the guest list, the plans and the budget.
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Who’s Invited:
Typically, the guest list includes the wedding party and other close friends. The best man should check with the groom to see if he wants to invite his father, future father-in-law, or other family members.
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When to Have It:
A bachelor party should take place at least two or three weeks before the wedding. If out-of-towners will be invited, be sure to give these guests ample time to book their travel arrangements.
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Where It’s Hosted:
It all depends on the interest of the groom. An outdoorsy type might enjoy a camping or ski weekend. A sporty type might like a day of golf followed by a steak dinner. Some parties are hosted at people’s homes or at a hotel. Whatever you do, make sure it works within everyone’s budget and meets the tastes of the guest of honor.
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BACHELORETTE PARTY
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What It Is:
A festive celebration of the bride-to-be, her last days as a single woman, and her upcoming wedding. Unlike the bridal shower, the bachelorette party acknowledges the saucier side of married life.
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Who Throws It:
Members of the wedding party or the maid of honor organize the festivities.
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Who’s Invited:
The guest list includes the bridal party and other close girlfriends.
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When to Have It:
The bachelorette party should be thrown at least two weeks before the wedding date. Like the bachelor party, if out-of-towners will be invited, be sure to give these guests enough time to make travel arrangements.
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Where It’s Hosted:
A bachelorette party can be as simple as a dinner thrown in someone’s home or as elaborate as a spa weekend getaway. Other ideas include an afternoon at a day spa, a night out at a dance club, or a dinner at a fabulous restaurant.
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BRIDESMAIDS’ LUNCHEON
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What It Is:
A luncheon, dinner, or tea, thanking the bridesmaids for their support, friendship - and for spending time and money to make your wedding day special (dresses, shoes, parties, etc).
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Who Throws It:
The bride hosts this party.
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Who’s Invited:
The guest list includes your maid of honor, your bridesmaids and perhaps the mother of the bride, future mother-in-law, flower girls (if they’re old enough) or other close family members.
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When to Have It:
If your bridesmaids are coming in from out of town for your wedding, host the party the day before your wedding. If everyone is in-town, a couple weeks before the wedding would be a good time.
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Where It’s Hosted:
Host a party at your home, make dinner, or take the gang out for a special meal—it’s up to you. The “luncheon” is a great time to hand out bridesmaid gifts and to make a toast thanking your special friends.
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REHEARSAL DINNER
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What It Is:
This intimate celebration with close family and friends allows everyone to get “warmed up” before the wedding. Officiants or wedding planners sometimes like to use this time to acquaint everyone on how the ceremony will work, arrival times, and the order that everyone will walk down the aisle.
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Who Throws It:
Traditionally, the groom’s parents host the rehearsal dinner, however, you and your fiancé, your siblings, your grandparents, or both sets of parents may also throw this soiree.
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Who’s Invited:
Immediate family members, wedding party members and their spouses. Often out-of-town guests are invited to the rehearsal dinner too.
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When to Have It:
The rehearsal dinner - an evening where many toasts are given to the bride and groom - is usually held the evening before the wedding day. Sometimes if there are many out-of-towners, the rehearsal dinner is held two nights before, and an “out-of-towner party” is hosted the night before the wedding.
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Where It’s Hosted:
The party can be hosted at a restaurant, a country club, or someone’s home. It’s a great time to get creative: think about showing a slideshow featuring old photos of the bride and groom or recall any stories about how the two met.
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POST WEDDING DAY BRUNCH
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What It Is:
A relaxed meal the day after the wedding. The brunch gives friends and relatives an opportunity to say a heartfelt goodbye to the bride and groom and to have a last meal before their journey home.
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Who Throws It:
The bride and groom, a relative or friend can host the brunch.
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Who’s Invited:
Traditionally, the wedding party and family members are invited to the brunch. However, out-of-town guests are often invited - which is a thoughtful gesture.
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When to Have It:
It is held the day after the wedding.
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Where It’s Hosted:
A brunch can be hosted at someone’s home, a restaurant, or at a hotel. It’s usually an informal affair, where guests dress casually.
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