Wedding Attendants: Selecting Your Bridal Party.
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More than ever, today a wedding celebrates the joining of friends and families, and this idea is often announced through the members of the wedding party. If you are recently engaged, you have probably already begun to think about who to ask to be your bridesmaids, maid of honor, etc. Before getting started, the following is a basic rundown of bridal party do’s and don’ts.
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Do
ask your attendants as early as possible, to allow them plenty of time to make travel and vacation plans.
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Do
choose someone close to you to be your maid or matron of honor.
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Don't
worry if they are single, married, young, old, or even male. (In the case of the latter, they would simply be called the bride’s honor attendant).
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Note: You don’t need to ask your fiancé’s sister to be your maid or matron of honor unless she also happens to be a close friend. Also, if you have two sisters, or two best friends, ask both to be maid or matron of honor and divide duties between them.
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Do
let the groom choose his most trustworthy friend or relative to be his honor attendant, usually referred to as Best Man. His brother, cousin, best friend, father or even a close female friend, are all appropriate choices.
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Don't
let the size and style of your ceremony dictate the number of bridesmaids and ushers. At a small, informal wedding, you may have just one maid or matron of honor and a best man. At a large, formal wedding, you could have twelve or more. Don’t forget today it is acceptable to have as many attendants as you both like.
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Don't
worry about having an equal number of male and female attendants; the wedding coordinator will arrange the aesthetics of the procession. Also, attendants do not have to walk up and down the aisle in pairs. For example, one of the ushers can escort a bridesmaid on each arm.
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Do
consider inviting at least one of the groom’s sisters to be a bridesmaid and one of the bride’s brothers to be an usher.
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Note: If one of your attendants is married, you don’t have to invite his or her spouse to be in the wedding party. If you and your fiancé do ask a couple to be in the wedding, they need not be paired in the recession. For example, an usher can escort a bridesmaid, even if his wife is the matron of honor.
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Don't
feel you have to include children in your wedding party, but if you choose to, there are plenty of roles for them. If you have siblings or cousins between the ages of nine and fourteen, you may ask them to participate as junior bridesmaids or ushers. Boys younger than nine can be ring bearers, and little girls can be flower girls.
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Note: In the case of a second marriage, when either the bride or groom has children, it is wise to include them (no matter what their ages) in the wedding party. Assigning your children meaningful roles in the ceremony will allow them to feel included and special, and will help set a positive tone for the new families formed by marriage.
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